SEPTEMBER: The first steps from I versus We

September! Going to school for the first time. Can you remember? What a tragedy! Weaping children and most of all… weaping parents. Much ado about nothing. Imagine, was it that bad after all? School happened to be the perfect place to learn and to grow to your full potential as an individual and ironically at the same time — in our western society — it helped you to evolve to a social human being.

Cultures usually develop from 'we' to 'I'. In cultures that are less materially wealthy, people depend on each other to meet their basic needs. Tourists visiting these countries are often astounded by the warmth and helpfulness of the local people, which seems to stand in stark contrast to the greed and individualism of the West. Are these people really so altruistic? The essential feature of the human race is that we do everything we can as individuals and also as a species to survive and enrich our lives.

This makes us emotionally and sometimes physically dependent on other people.In developing countries, the government provides hardly any social security at all. This causes a paradox of necessity. The tiny number of wealthy people who can afford to pay for everything do not need social security, but the vast majority cannot afford to make the contributions. As a result, people depend on each other, providing support to meet their basic needs. It is absolutely vital to maintain this social cohesion. This is not just philanthropy at work. It is all based on the principle of reciprocity: if an individual does not bother to help others in their time of need, when he meets with difficulties he should not expect any help either. He will even be reminded that his predicament is his own fault.

While carrying out research in the Philippines, we were assisted by a young Filipino man whom we had recruited and trained in Belgium. He was the only son and had five sisters. The rest of his family was quite poor and lived in Manila. One weekend his family invited me to a little party to celebrate their son's arrival after six years abroad. He did not enjoy it at all. All evening he was reminded of his responsibilities and told that he should have stayed in Manila to make a contribution there. He was unable even to mention the fact that while in Antwerp he had fallen in love with a woman and was bringing up a child, so strong was his fear of their disappointment.